Handling Underperformance with Empathy
Whenever I teach my ACE framework—alignment, curiosity, and empathy—empathy is the one that tends to get people scratching their heads.
Let’s clear something up:
Empathy is not sympathy.
It’s not fixing.
And it’s definitely not agreeing with everything someone says like a human nodding bobblehead.
Empathy is the ability to be aware of and share the feelings of others.
People who are empathetic can recognize the emotional responses of others without necessarily agreeing with them.
Think of it like this: Empathy is the ability to step into someone else’s shoes without trying to resize them to fit your feet. It’s about seeing the situation through their eyes, even if you’d personally handle it differently—or never wear those shoes at all.
In conversation, empathy sounds like this:
“Ah, I can see how that would be frustrating.”
Or, “That makes sense, given what you were dealing with.”
You’re not saying, “you’re right.” You’re saying, “you matter.” Big difference.
Let’s apply this to a sticky workplace situation: underperformance.
Nobody loves having that conversation. But empathy can turn an awkward sit-down into a productive turning point. Here’s how:
Identify the root cause: Is it a skill gap? Lack of clarity? Personal challenges? Don’t assume—it’s not detective work, it’s dialogue.
Provide support: This could be training, coaching, or even just a much-needed conversation.
Set clear next steps: Outline what “better” looks like. Set goals, timelines, and expectations. Empathy and accountability can—and should—coexist.
Empathy builds trust. Trust builds performance. And performance builds strong, resilient teams.
Here’s your challenge this week: How can you use empathy to lead better conversations—and better people?