Patience Is Hard. Leadership Demands It Anyway.
They say patience is a virtue. It has never been one of mine.
When I was a child and got impatient—or downright angry—my mom’s go-to solution was a spiritual timeout: Say ten Hail Marys before reacting. (I’m fairly certain this was as much for her benefit as mine.)
Ed and I had a short engagement—three months. When someone asked why we were getting married so quickly, my sister Bridget answered without hesitation: “Shannon has never been a very good waiter.” Accurate. We still use this saying today when I get impatient, which is, sorry to say, more often than I would like.
More than one boss has gently suggested that I slow down before responding to emails. As in, don’t hit send immediately—maybe let it marinate for a minute.
I am getting better at patience as I get older, but it still doesn’t come naturally.
In our busy, chaotic lives—working, raising children, trying to exercise, and generally holding everything together—it’s hard to slow down long enough to make thoughtful decisions. Everything feels urgent. Everything feels like it needs an answer right now.
And yet, one of the hardest leadership lessons I’ve had to learn is this: Not every decision demands urgency.
Some need space.
Patience isn’t about doing nothing. It’s about resisting the impulse to react in the moment.
Here’s what I’ve learned to do to be a more patient—and more effective—leader:
Pause before responding. If I give myself time to separate emotion from action, I make better decisions.
Gather perspectives. When I seek input from others to broaden my understanding of the situation, I can see angles I’m too close—or too fired up—to notice.
Decide with intention. I move forward only when I’m confident the decision aligns with my values and long-term goals, not just my short-term stress.
Patience doesn’t slow leadership down. It strengthens it.
Where might patience strengthen your leadership this week?