Step Away from the Shoelaces
Although many of the details about raising our children have fled my mind, I still remember the daily drama of getting everyone’s shoes tied.
It took forever.
It seemed their little fingers were made of noodles, and one of the three inevitably got distracted. When I was trying to get them all out the door at once, I wanted to scream, “Please, just let me do it.” And every time they chose boots instead of shoes with laces, I did a little happy dance inside. Hallelujah! One less obstacle between us and the minivan.
But of course, I knew the truth. If I kept tying their shoes for them, I would be doing it until they left for college. We might get out the door faster that morning, but they would never learn to do it themselves.
And isn’t that exactly what happens in leadership?
We step in because we can do it faster.
We take over because we know how it “should” be done.
We rescue because watching someone struggle through the learning curve is uncomfortable—and sometimes deeply inefficient.
This is the ultimate test of leadership: avoiding the trap of doing it yourself.
Doing it yourself feels so good in the moment. It is faster, easier, and much less painful to watch. But if we want people to grow, we have to build in time for them to learn by doing. That means accepting that development is rarely efficient at first. In fact, it is slower and messier. Yet that is how people learn.
Whenever I get asked, “Yes, but how do I actually delegate without losing my mind?” I recommend three things:
Identify repeat tasks. These are prime delegation opportunities.
Trust the process. Allow others to learn through experience.
Resist rescuing. Support without taking over.
In leadership, and parenting, you have to learn to let go, not hold tighter.
And if they put the shoes on the wrong feet and can still walk, consider it a victory and head out the door.